Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Randomize