There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
