please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
