She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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