Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
