is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
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