Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
