WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
i will never coherently bang her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Randomize