Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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