The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
It's like God shit irony all over that family
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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