You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
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