if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I need moral support for this bender
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
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