I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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