you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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