And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
