i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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