How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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