i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
