I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
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