Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
