I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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