they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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