I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
