we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Every concussion has its silver lining
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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