I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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