Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Randomize
