YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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