please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
