if you like me you must not know who I am
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
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