And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
