So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
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