Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
