Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
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