You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Randomize
