I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
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