you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I'm getting married
To pizza
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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