she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
