Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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