is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize
