the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Randomize
