if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
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