yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
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