My girlfriend figured out who you are.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
you will always have a special place in my vag
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
