Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
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