my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize