You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize
