I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
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