I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
