a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Randomize
