i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
