we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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