You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
