Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
