Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
