Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Randomize
