let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
My vagina just recognized that song.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Randomize
