You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
