what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
