what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
