there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
