he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
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