there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
