Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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